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I'll admit it - I don't like dogs. They're dangerous, loud, dirty, and they have no place in residential areas. Nevertheless, it is evident that many members of society, particularly women, are exceptionally fond of these creatures. The perception that woman love dogs disproportionately isn't imagined, and it's worth noting that it's a new trend. Many millennial women have opted to have dogs over children, and sometimes even husbands!
This is all good news for dogs. They're being invited into some of the most affluent homes in the world, and they are being pampered beyond belief. All that money that would have went to paying for a child's tuition, clothes, and other essentials is now spent caring for a canine.
With this information in mind, you would expect to see women have great relationships with dogs, and for dogs to appreciate their time with women. That is not what we're seeing. Instead, we are witnessing an increasing number of dog attacks on women specifically.
What could possibly explain this trend? Well, I have a theory. It is a drastic one, but I believe I have sufficient evidence to prove it. Warning, it does contain rather vile elements, but these are aspects of reality we cannot ignore. Please, feel free to debunk me where you find flaws, but I am certain there are few.
What causes dogs to bite?
So why do dogs bite? Well, a few reasons. Let's start with the least violent reasons. Dogs use their teeth to manipulate objects in the environment. This is typically known as a "soft bite" and it may be used to pick up a pup, for example. The soft bite is also used by hunters to retrieve fowl.
Some dogs have been bred to have a strong bite instinct to use when herding. This is especially useful when dealing with stubborn breeds of cattle that don't respond to the usual intimidation tactics from dogs. These small bites are known as "nips", and sometimes dogs will "nip" children in an attempt to hard them.
Dogs also bite as a form of communication. You see, dogs don't have words, but they do have barks and growls. Biting can be an extension of that. If a growl doesn't deter an unwanted threat, a bite is meant to get the job done.
Lastly, dogs bite to destroy. Like us, dogs can be angry, vengeful, and scared. In such situations, they may seek to destroy whatever is causing them upset. To do this, they maul. It is actually very rare for dogs to maul. Firstly, many dogs don't have the mauling instinct. They simply bite and release. Secondly, when dogs attack, they are typically scared. They don't want to spend more time near you than necessary. Mauling puts them close to their attacker, which is dangerous. Lastly, dogs are typically naive regarding humans, as we have bred them that way. There is very little benefit to biting a humans for a dog, unless they are defending themselves. This is not to say that dogs never bite for no reason. Of course not. However, they almost never maul for no reason.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PITBULL?
Quite frankly, I don't consider pitbulls to be domesticated dogs. They're feral animals. There's nothing domesticated about a pitbull. For normal dogs, mauling for no reason is exceptionally rare (usually such instances are due to old dogs suffering from dementia).
So what's my theory? It is simple: Many cases of dog bites involving women are instances of self defence. The dogs weren't attacking. They were defending themselves from women. I will take things a step further, and I know this is where I will lose most of you. The dogs are typically defending themselves from sexual assault or rap. No, I'm not joking in the slightest. I'm aware of the seriousness of my statements. I express them publicly because of the conclusions I have drawn.
A Case Study
Jacqueline Durand was a 22 year old girl who loved dogs, was in the University of Texas, had a boyfriend, and would dog walk in her free time. She was hired to walk the dogs of Dr Bishop and his wife Ashley. It was two dogs, one a German Shepherd and the other a Boxer (according to some reports it was a Boxer and Pitbull mix, though this hasn't been confirmed). What's important to note here is that Jacqueline had met the dogs prior, and even she admits they were sweet and showed no signs of aggression.
On 21 December 2022, she arrived at the house where she was to meet the dogs. According to Jacqueline, as soon as she opened the door, it triggered the alarm, causing the dogs to attack her for over an hour. During the attack, she sustained over a hundred bits and lost love 30% of her blood. She was terribly disfigured, and she will be facing for the next two years, as she stated in an interview earlier this year.
There are a few points I'd like to highlight. If they attacked her at the door, why was the main location of the mauling at the beds of the dogs? So did they drag her from the door to the living room because they wanted somewhere private and secluded to ensue the mauling? I struggle to understand why dogs would want to drag someone into the home. Dogs are territorial. If anything, they'd be trying to get her out of the house.
Secondly, she was found completely naked. COMPLETELY. You can see a snippet of the bodycam footage here, but be warned that it is extremely graphic.
How do dogs take off clothes? They haven't any hands. Are we supposed to believe that dogs took off her clothes? Everything, including bra and panties?! Here's my big question: for the facial reconstruction surgery, they took skin from her buttocks. How did the dogs take off her underwear without ripping the skin off her buttocks as well? So they were vicious enough to rip off her underwear but delicate enough to leave the skin of her buttocks intact to the point where it could be used for grafting. Bullshit. Yes, it should be clear what I am implying - she entered the house of her own according, found the dogs alone as she was anticipating, and proceeded to remove her own clothing.
These dogs were in the home of a doctor, who lived with a child, and none of them had ever been victimized by the dogs. Why did they then, out of the blue, decide to chew on a human being for the next hour? Something triggered them. I put it to you that these dogs were provoked, and you know how.
Since then, she has tried to press charges on the Bishop family. The only evidence that the dogs showed any kind of aggression prior was a sign warning visitors not to press the doorbell or else it'll get the dogs going. Nothing at all abnormal about dogs reacting to the doorbell. Plenty of dogs go nuts when the doorbell rings, including friendly dogs anticipating visitors.
The clothing is the most darning piece of evidence for me. The second most darning evidence is the fact that Jacqueline still loves dogs. She still owns dogs (large ones of course), and she wants to work with dogs. This isn't a normal love of dogs. There is something else going on here, a deep attraction to these beasts that goes beyond anything rational. I will not overlook the fact that one of the worst dog attack victims in recent memory still can't keep her hands off dogs. That's not quirky, that's paraphilia.
Conclusion
Think about how many dogs have been put down following a dog attack. Oftentimes, we don't know what happened and the only people around to give an account are the victims and any potential survivors. Do you think we know the whole story? So many cases of mothers home with children who claim the dog suddenly snapped and ate the kids. We've been so quick to assume that the animals were acting wild. Never have we asked whether the dogs were the victims.
Self-defence is not a crime, especially against unwanted sexual contact. Next time you hear about a woman who was alone and suddenly got attacked by dogs, think twice.
- Dude : Don't report this user they take it personally
- Assy-McGee : I hate tabletop games so much it's unreal
- smolchickentenders : This user is a khaoskid alt
- uwu : Why would you willingly post this big of an L?
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I can't take this shit anymore. I've been playing online RPGs with this guy for three years now and yet, somehow, EVERY CHARACTER HE EVER MAKES IS ATROCIOUS. There's bad characters, like obvious fetishes. Khaoskid's characters are something different. They are inspired in their awfulness. Let me go over some of my least favorites with you.
Sans Undertale
System: D&D 3.5e
My status: DM
Sans Undertale was a Bone Creature template Dwarf. His class was Truenamer. For those of you who do not know, Truenamer is the worst class Wizards of the Coast put to paper. Rules as written, it doesn't work. The difficulty of use for their truenaming powers grow exponentially as they level. Sans was optimized to heck and back in order to be even slightly useful. Outside of his ridiculous character name & art, he was actually a useful member of the party. I am simply amazed that this man played as a solo-classed truenamer for multiple years over the course of a level 1-20 D&D 3.5e campaign, and survived. Also he carried around a body pillow of Shinji's Right Hand everywhere he went.
Kasan Eteto
System: D&D 3.5e
My status: Player
Kasan Eteto was a succubus, using the Savage Species monster class. She had taken the Vow of Nonviolence and the Vow of Peace feats. This means she was forbidden from fighting any living creatures. She was an extremely talented diplomat, at least. She also went into Apostle of Peace once she finished Succubus' progression. Like Sans, she wasn't so much disruptive as she was shocking. Using Savage Species is insane. Using Apostle of Peace is insane. Combining the two is even more insane. In a strange act of self-awareness, Khaoskid realized he hates playing female characters and had Kasan kill herself. This is the only time he's ever played a female character. Her art has been lost to time, but she was literally just Kasane Teto.
The Mathemagician
System: GURPS 4e
My status: Player
The game was a light-hearted fantasy game. When we got into our first fight, the Mathemagician cast his first spell: Math Beam. We all asked him how it worked. He told us how much damage it did, and said "math." It wasn't terribly strong so we shrugged it off. Until he told the GM that he was casting it again, on the same turn. Then again. Then again. It turns out, he took Lightning Calculator, a trait that lets your character perform math instantly. Since Math Beam is cast by solving an equation, he could cast an infinite number of Math Beams per turn. The GM ended the game after that first fight.
John Matrix
System: GURPS 4e
My status: Player
The game was a Jojo's Bizzare Adventure game. John Matrix was a high school IT guy who thought he was a hacker. He had a Wildcard skill called "The Matrix" that could do anything. Literally any roll the GM asked for, he would simply use The Matrix in place of the normal skill. His stand was "Fear of the Dark." It was the creature from the album's cover, and it was extremely physically powerful. It also projected an aura of darkness that no light or sight could penetrate, not even John Matrix. It was also an independent stand, and evil. He could not de-manifest it. Against all odds, he made it to the end of the game. Khaoskid then warned me that if I ever ran Mage: the Ascension, he would play John Matrix as a Virtual Adept.
Jimmy Hoboken
System: GURPS 4e
My status: Player
The game was a Zoolander X JJBA game. All of our characters had to be male models. Jimmy Hoboken was a body positivity model. He was fat, r-slurred, and useless. His stand was Fat, which could eat any material and did a ton of damage with its bite. It ended up being very useful, as it could eat holes through walls and ruin the GM's dungeon designs. He ended up growing 30 feet tall and turning into a woman after playing a cursed game show. He died after rolling a nat 1 on the Die of Fate.
John & Monkey
System: GURPS 4e, Call of Cthulhu 7e
My status: GM
The game was initially titled "Black Friday Shopper Simulator 2021," and was in GURPS. The party's goal was to get the last Game Bronus at their local shopping mall, and to kill anyone who got in their way. Eventually, the game morphed into a Call of Cthulhu 7e game where the party were special agents for the United States Department of Unusual Incidents, and were stealing anomalies from the SCP Foundation. John is just an ordinary guy who is really, really good at biking. He knew special moves like "Bike Jump" and "Bike Spin." His skills impressed Jeff Bezos, who hired him to babysit his pet monkey, Monkey. Monkey is incredibly rich and has a smart phone. Somehow, the two are an effective duo, are still alive, and haven't driven me to end the campaign. Like Sans and Kasan, they are insane character ideas, but surprisingly functional.
Scholar
System: D&D 3.5e
My status: DM
The game is set in the Eberron setting. Scholar is a warforged artificer. He's mostly functional, but has made some deranged magical items. Most notable is his Wand of Locate Bars. It does exactly that: magically locate nearby stores that serve alcohol. Also he's useless during fights, as his signature move is to use a Scroll of Tree Form to turn himself into a tree for an hour. Mercifully, last April Fool's Day, I let all of my players draw from the Deck of Many Things. Scholar drew "Donjon" and was sent to the Lair of the Keeper.
Thrikeepagh Dhakaan
System: D&D 3.5e
My status: DM
To replace Scholar, Khaoskid made Geldrin d'Kundarak. Geldrin is actually a good character. His cohort, Thrikeepagh, is not. Thrikeepagh is a blue (psychic goblin subrace) weretoad. He has no class. Every time he levels up, he takes another toad hit die. Toads fricking suck. They have no attacks. Their movement speed is 5 feet. In order to move faster, Thrikeepagh took the Speed of Thought feat, which increases your movement speed by 10 feet if you are psychic. This is why he's a blue. He has no combat ability, and his only support traits are being able to turn into a toad. At the very least, he's relatively tough since werecreatures resist damage from non-silver weapons.
Gary Ryals
System: Motholam
My status: Player
Motholam is an AD&D retroclone. Gary Ryals was a fighter who refused to use weapons, and fought with his bare hands. Motholam has no martial arts system, so he sucked. While we were exploring the swamp, Gary picked a fight with a friendly giant toad. It swallowed him whole then swam away.
Utyronimar
System: Motholam
My status: Player
My character in the Motholam game we were in was Utumar the Somniferous, a wizard.
Khaoskid thought Utumar was really cool, so after Gary died, he made his new character Utyronimar.
Tavish McBane
System: Vampire: the Masquerade, 20th Anniversary Edition
My status: Player
Tavish' clan was McBane and his Generation was 1st. He was not a vampire. He was a 1st generation Scottish immigrant. He did not use any supernatural powers. He just cut vampires limbs' off with a claymore. Khaoskid would constantly speak in a shitty Scottish accent and pretend to be drunk, and would constantly pick fights with the other players and random bums on the street. The campaign ended when the party broke into the local Tremere's chantry. We had a few newbies playing with us. The newbies thought they were badasses and died horribly. Tavish and my character survived. The newbies quit the game, and the GM didn't feel like running for two insane people.
Yukio Noguchi
System: Vampire: the Masquerade, 20th Anniversary Edition
My status: Storyteller
When Khaoskid proposed playing as a Kuei-jin in a V20 game, I knew it was a bad idea. I didn't realize just how bad it was. Yukio Noguchi was a Devil Tiger, meaning his dharma required him to make people suffer. He was an expert martial artist, so he would just pick fist fights with people, beat them up, then torture them. He was also an overweight Japanese salaryman. I ended the game after zero (0) of my players came up with even slightly reasonable characters.
Nikolas Heidinger
System: Vampire: the Masquerade, 20th Anniversary Edition
My status: Storyteller
The follow-up game to the game with Yukio Noguchi, I instructed my players this time to come up with reasonable characters. Nikolas is so, so close to being one. He's a 10th-generation Tremere. He's loyal to the Pyramid. He doesn't breach the Masquerade. So what's the problem? He has dementia. The Tremere found him too late, and Embraced him while he was in his nineties. Now, he can learn Thaumaturgy, but still forgets his name. He is perhaps the most destructive character Khaoskid has ever played, because he's the most subtle. He's not literally Sans, nor does he run around with a claymore in the streets of Chicago, but he's still terrible. Like a real demented old man, he wanders away from the coterie while they're preoccupied with something. Whenever he gets a chance to talk, he rambles for minutes, if not hours. If this character was my first experience with khaoskid, I would fully believe he is a demented old man in real life too. His ability to waste time is unreal, and can only be truly understood if experienced first-hand.
!enemiesofkhaoskid This is why I hate him. He sucks so much.
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An explanation for the non less neurodivergent members of this board:
Dwarf Fortress is a colony simulator where you (in the form of a bunch of dwarves) set out into the world with one simple goal: build the biggest and longest lasting base you can. The tricky part is that the game is a roguelike (or "permadeath game" colloquially). Once every member of your fortress is dead, that's it. The fortress is gone and there is no reloading back to a previous save.
The game doesn't have a traditional multiplayer mode, so to compensate, players came up with the idea of a "succession fort". The gist is that players play through a year of the fortress on their own, then hand off the save file to another person, who also plays through a year, then they give it to the next and so on and so forth until it loops back to the original player. Hence the term "succession". If you want a taste of how snased a succession game can get, I'd recommend reading or listening to Boatmurdered.
The big twist of Dwarf Fortress (and why it's had so much staying power) is that your world isn't static. The game actually simulates everything. Every war, every succession of kings, every dragonflight, and even the lives and lineages of individual peasants are tracked. Your dwarves didn't just blip into existence when your fortress started, they lived entire lives before then. They have their own opinions about the world, and they react to everything that happens to them in their own unique way. When a dwarf fights an enemy, a sword slash doesn't just reduce an arbitrary HP stat, it severs nerves or bruises organs. And that's really just the tip of the iceberg. There's so much else you could go on about, down to the geology.
So, given all of that complexity, the game is unparalleled when it comes to creating stories. Secret vampires murdering your citizens, a heroic dwarf wrestling a cyclops down a cliff, or a visiting performer turning into a werebadger in the middle of your tavern are all just a few of the stories you can expect to see unfold while playing Dwarf Fortress.
Mostibkun is rdrama's very own succession fort. Each player will write a log (perhaps in character) of what they did and what happened in their year, then post it in this thread. Updates will be posted within 2 weeks of each otherhopefully. You can see the current roster/order of players at the bottom of this post.
Now, with all that preamble out of the way, I present to you the first entry in the tale of Mostibkun, "Orangecat"
28th of Felsite, 250. End of spring.
We arrived at Mostibkun on the 14th of Granite, as scheduled. I've chosen to update this log at the turn of each season, as I have enough on my plate without worrying about this diary. As expedition leader, I've been tasked with getting this place up and running before handing it off to my successor, whoever that might be. For the sake of the records, here's an engraving of me.
Oh, and for good measure, here's an engraving of our heraldry. Carved this one myself, I did.
The noble who sponsored our venture didn't feel like wasting any of his precious time briefing me on the location. It was only on the trip here that I learned (from manlings no less) that the site was only a stone's throw away from a necromancer's tower.
Unnerving, but there was no turning back by that point. I've kept that information to myself for now. With luck, we won't have to worry about him and his ilk this year at least. Hopefully never.
I set our miners to carve out the initial outline of the place. Here's a drawing of the fortress, as of the end of Spring.
Before you say anything about the accommodations, know that I believe in functionality over form. Single bed pods are perfectly adequate quarters, and if the others don't care for them, they haven't thought to say so to my face.
With the basics of the fortress hollowed out, I called the few of us together to celebrate. We drank a lot of plump helmet wine. Horrible stuff, but we'll have to get used to it.
For better or for worse, this marks the beginning of the story of Mostibkun.
28th of Galena, 250. End of summer.
Not much to say for summer frankly. Not much at all.
I had the dining chamber carved out, and I've got our mason pumping out table and chairs. He's a slow worker. I had the pods furnished as well, and I've begun building up fortifications around the entrance.
The gates aren't hooked up yet, and the walls aren't as high as I would like them to be, but it should keep the wildlife at bay for now.
After a bit more digging, we found a solid bit of mineral resources.
Ah, and before I forget, there was a migrant wave. Seven, mostly adults. Not many of serious worth, except for this scruff.
Hopefully the mountainhomes send more of his sort. A bit of a fusser though. Always in a poor mood. Don't think he cares for his pod.
That's all for summer. We're up to 14 dwarves now.
28th of Timber, 250. End of autumn.
Autumn was a bit more exciting, but not by much. The liaison and his caravan from the mountainhomes arrived on time. Nothing surprising there on its own, except for the fact that he's a goblin.
I have a sense that this is incredibly fitting, but I can't figure out how or why. Anyways, here's an excerpt from our meeting.
I thought he was a childknapper when I first saw him. I was just about ready to send some of the dwarves after him, but he walked over, shook my hand, and told me who he was before I had the chance. He seems alright for what it's worth. He put in an order for windows and wooden tools, which'll be up to the poor soul who succeeds me to fulfill. I put in an order of my own for wine and cheese, as I've been getting complaints about the variety (or lack thereof) of food we have to offer. I sent our broker out to trade for some strawberries, as I've had a craving for sweet wine. We handed off some of our mass-produced cups and then they were off. They should be back next autumn.
The outer fortifications have been finished. Here's a drawing looking down from the top. It's around four stories tall, give or take. I'm just now realizing that I missed a spot.
The second level has been expanded a good deal as well. With the plump helmets in steady supply, I mandated the rest of the fields be left to other crops.
Try your best to ignore that outcropping in the storehall. The silt was waterlogged.
Around mid-Sandstone another wave of migrants arrived. I had a chance to speak with them on the initial intake. Rough folx. Aside from the children, they're all warriors. Looks like the duke knew this place was perilous the whole time, and is sending us some fighters for protection in case that bone molester gets uppity. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or pissed off.
We're up to 19 souls now.
There's been no other happenings. Winter is here. Hardly been a day, and I can already feel the nip in the air. This is the last season I'll spend running the place, and then this is all someone else's problem.
28th of Obsidian, 250. End of winter.
Nothing happened in winter. This ewe died. That's about it.
As I sit in my pod and reflect, I realize this year has been quite kind to us. The walls and gates have been built without incident, the workshops are running and the harvests have been good. Most are happy. Perhaps there's a real chance for us to succeed in this place.
That's about as much reflecting as you're going to get out of me. Back to business: for my successor, there's still quite a bit that needs to be done. We've no military, nor weapons or armor. We need to start making proper meals as well, and hopefully bring some variety to the beverages we're brewing. Even our most destitute alcoholics are getting tired of plump helmet wine. It's not necessary, but perhaps we'd like to dig down into the cavern layer. Some magma forges would do us good.
Ah, and don't forget to make windows and tools for the traders next year.
Not much else needs saying beyond that. No more overseeing for me, at least for now. I'm going to put my feet up and let the next ingrate worry about keeping this place running. Now that I think on it, they might just be whoever's reading this.
Good luck, you.
-Dódok '60horsesinmyherd' íkthagsibrek
And scene.
Next in line is @Cream_a_da_crop. DM me and I'll send you the files.
I'm realizing now that without the old forum "bump" feature, this thread will likely get buried fairly quickly. Probably going to need to find a way to fix that issue. Hypothetically, updates could just be separate postings, though that might makes things pretty hard to keep track of. I doubt a pin is going to last long enough. Maybe a ping group is the best idea? I don't have enough coins for it though, so we'd have to pool some funds together. Open to suggestions if you lot have any.
That's all for now.
EDIT: Thank your for the pins kind @Aevothy 
Players, in order of succession:
If you'd like to have a dwarf named after you, click "Yes" on this poll.
You will be pinged if they do something cool.
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