The word "Benzo" is used quite loosely, but different benzos can have considerably varying effects. In this thread, I'll try to explain them. It's a quick one and I don't give too much of a shit about quality. Normally I'd give an introduction on what benzos are along with a quick discussion concerning GABA receptors, but today is not that type of day. I currently have at least one of each benzo I'm about to mention, not necessarily from the same source but most are from one source. I've never bought them off the streets, all prescribed legally. My psychiatrist hands out benzo prescriptions all the time. He diagnosed me bipolar with ADHD and OCD.

On that note, I'd like to mention that I threw away my razors, but that's only heightened my intrusive thoughts of cutting myself. When I had the choice, there was some comfort in that. Now with no razors available, cutting myself is suddenly all I want to do. I may purchase new ones, get the slicing over and done with, then put them away.

Let's begin.

1. Midazolam

Personally, this is my favorite benzo. Its effects are pretty close to what people imagine when they think of benzos but this is a little different. Let's start with the basics, bucko. It'll put your butt to sleep. Maybe you can stay awake a bit at a low dose (15mg) but at 30mg your butt is grass in about twenty minutes or less.

When it hits you will not be able to walk. I repeat - your ability to walk will be disabled. You will fall everywhere, worse than a crippled man whose cane has been stolen. Whatever you're imagining, it's worse. Worse than a drunken teen who can't walk straight. This is more like swaying until your head hits the wall hard. During this time, you will feel euphoric. Enjoy it. I've found it's not really fun to listen to music or eat. Instead, have a pen and paper ready or a document open on your PC and try to record your thoughts. Half of it is nonsense, but you'll be surprised at the kinds of things that will surface - your kinks, past trauma, even your favorite video game lol.

Within the following ten minutes, your capacity to have memories will completely vanish. You will continue to do things, perhaps prepare a meal for yourself, send an unintelligible text to your mom, or put the dishes in the washing machine. It really depends on whether an angel or goblin is within you that day. The goblin will make you do foolish things (often messy) while the angel will make you do ordinary everyday things, but for no reason.

Then it's lights out. Don't worry, you will sleep in your bed. Even if you have to crawl, your Midazolam brain will still know where your bed is and you will tuck yourself in. I took 30mg last night. I'm not a druggie, my psychologist literally called me and told me to (her father is a psychiatrist so she sometimes helps me with med doses even though she technically shouldn't). I haven't been sleeping well because of life anxieties (losing my job) and because I'm choosing not to at times (like literally just sleeping for an hour and then getting back to some freelance work I've found. I just don't want to sleep). She's afraid it's going to trigger mania so she wants me to get a minimum of 6 hours. Not happening.

I made food for myself, took it upstairs and placed it next to my PC, then went to bed. I don't remember anything else. I only had a few hours of sleep because I woke up at midnight and have been up since then. I felt a sense of warmness and I knew I was still high as frick. I got out of bed, tried to walk, and failed. I wanted to take the tray of food downstairs but even with slow steps I fricked up and dropped it, leaving a mess I had to mop up. I don't want to sleep tonight so I won't be taking another double dose. Just 15mg which affects my gait but doesn't knock me out. Maybe I won't take one at all. Frick sleep.

2. Alprazolam

Commonly known as Xanax. This is what most people mean when they say the word "benzo". When I was in the psychiatric ward, it was routine for everyone to get a slow-release dose in the morning to lower anxiety. It gives you this calm sense of "everything is going to be alright", like the Bob Marley song lol.

Yeah, it puts you in a good mood, but it is sedating. Furthermore, at least personally, it doesn't frick with your memory too much, although you may black out if you mix it with alcohol. Even my psychologist said she likes Xanax and she was disappointed when she was weaned off it lol

It is also the benzo that is most like alcohol. It disorients you a bit, but it also takes away your filter, making you a little braver and less anxious. However, like alcohol, it fricks with your ability to act rationally. Consequently, when you see videos of people acting crazy at the airport or in a convenience store, it's most probably Xanax to blame. If you go to a doctor and complain about anxiety, this is what they'll give you.

In the black market, it is sold as a party drug. I wrote a story here about using Xanax to be brave enough to go to a nightclub.

https://rdrama.net/h/personal/post/233100/trying-to-be-normal-diaries-i

I like Xanax but it doesn't take first place mostly because of how fast tolerance develops. You can quickly make popping 10 xannies a normal thing that just puts you in that heavenly zone. I'd argue it's the most dangerous benzo on this list for this reason.

3. Clobazam

In last place comes the shittiest benzo of all - Clobazam. This is the one I typically mix with Ambien if I want a good time (and a good sleep). I'll get an hour of euphoria followed by god knows how long of a blackout before I wake up the next day. It switches off your memory completely and at high doses you actually feel sick to your stomach. I'd be disappointed if this was prescribed to me, but I wouldn't complain. Currently, my prescriptions only include Xanax (slow release) and Dormicum (Midazolam). That reminds me, I need to try scraping the film off a Xanax to check if it'll hit more quickly and strike harder. I have to do personal testing because holy shit Google has become a fricking "safe zone" that makes it impossible to research forms of degeneracy. Try learning more about a drug or anything suicide-related and all you get are these "we're here to help you" sites. Frick off and just tell me the right way to do the drug if you actually want to keep me safe. Fricking Reddit's become my new search engine of choice. At least you get actual answers to shit like this.

Bonus

Zolpidem

Might as well give Ambien a mention even though it's not a benzo. I don't have much to say except they make you drowsy as frick and want to sleep, but it won't force you into bed. You can enjoy an ambien night, though you'll forget the tail end of it. I think ambien is the one pill that makes you do the stupidest things when you black out like text your dad nonsense or make shitposts here. The worst thing I did was send a work email that was due 3 times in a row. I've also posted nonsense in Groomercord channels lol. I didn't remember doing these things and only found I did them when I woke up.

The recreational value is pretty low. I now realize the few Ambiens I have left are the only ones I have because I don't go to that doctor anymore. So about 10 pills. It takes two pills to get to that ambien drowsiness that I guess feels kinda good if you genuinely can't sleep or are a stressed-out person. Personally, I think that if you're using them for off-label reasons, I think they're only good for mixing with a benzo.

Thanks for reading, if you did. If you have insults, please don't post them. Just block me instead.

I'll make this an effort post since I know you zoomies know nothing about the Internet or gaming before 2015.

Dyack in the middle

Silicon Knights

Silicon Knights was a Canadian developer who made a few decent games, like Legacy of Kain and the Gamecube remake of Metal Gear Solid. They're mainly remembered for the classic Gamecube horror game Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem, which is quite good for its time and is notable for being the only rated-M game ever published directly by Nintendo. They were lead by a guy named Dennis Dyack, a whiny manchild who doomed his company to fail.

Zoomers: This was considered scary in 2002

To give you an idea of their management, here's an image of games in production, games that were cancelled or abandoned before release are marked in yellow. Note the staggering ratio of unreleased/released games:

Anyways, Dyack's passion project for decades had always been a game called Too Human, but every effort to make it had been abortive. After the successes of Eternal Darkness and MGS, Dyack decides the Wii doesn't have shiny enough graphics and makes the bold choice to unshackle his company from a lucrative position as a Nintendo third party so he can truly fulfill his vision on the superior XBawx Please Fix Me. Silicon Knights shacks up with Microsoft and Epic Games and produce an E3 demo (zoomers: people used to go to an annual convention for video game trailers) which is received overwhelmingly negatively.

Dyack is NOT HAPPY and goes on the IGN forums to whine about how the critics will regret their words and deeds:

Unedited clip from Too Human

NeoGAF

Once upon a time there was a gayming website called Gaming Age, with their forum called the Gaming Age Forum (or GAF). Eventually Gaming Age imploded, but the top two jannies (Evillore and Bishoptl) were able to move their community to a new forum, appropriately called NeoGAF. You wouldn't know it these days with GAF being a shambling corpse and its spinoff ResetERA being what it is, but pre-G*merGate GAF was chill and a place where industry figures would show up and sperg out while everyone laughed at them.

Dennis Dyack makes a bet

Once such figure was our hero, Dyack. With his new slop getting trashed by GAFfers, he makes a thread to bet on how it'll turn out:

Right now the man just appears confident in his project. But his next post is a bit more... unhinged, and seems to be setting the bar rather low by making alreay-forgotten games Lair and Haze the standard to beat:

He then goes for an interview on 1up (Zoomers: Now-defunct gaming journo site) and whined about how people saying mean things online is ruining America and how if the NeoGAF mods don't start respecting Denis Dyack and Too Human he's going to call the Internet Police and shut them down!

Dyack then does another interview where he declares that not only is NeoGAF the worst forum in the world, but forums in general are evil and this is why the US military no longer uses writing:

Too Human comes out and scores lower than Haze. In classic GAF fashion the top janny punishes Dyack for losing the bet by writing lots of words and then perma-banning him. Dyack copes by saying g*mers are too stupid to understand his genius.

By this point the capital-G G*mers are pissed at Dyack in a way that prefigures G*merGate in a way. Seething articles are written speculating that angering the G*mers has resulted in him not just being banned from NeoGAF, but divorced from his wife, kicked out of the house, abandoned by his employees, his car towed, banned from every website ever, banned from the city of Niagara and tossed over the waterfall.

He messed with g*mers. G*mers.

The Saga Ends

Denis Dyack has brought Silicon Knights from one of the more respected devs in the industry to basically a joke. Following the failure of Too Human Dyack blamed the Unreal Engine and Epic Games and made the genius decision to sue them. This didn't go their way and by 2012 they owed Epic millions of dollars, had less than five employees, and were legally obligated to destroy all of their unsold games and source code.

In the meantime they had six more projects (including two sequels for Too Human) which were cancelled before they finally released another game, the absolutely awful X-Men Destiny, which turns out to be their last. In desperation, Dyack crawls back to Nintendo and pitches a sequel to their last hit, Eternal Darkness. NeoGAF insider reveals that Nintendo is agreeable until SK loses the lawsuit against Epic, and they decide they'd rather not fork over $10 million in legal fees so SK can survive, which Dyack denied. Former SK staff reveal that this was the case and part of the reason the X-Men game sucked was because Dyack was taking money given by Activision for that game and instead putting it toward Eternal Darkness II.

Years later Dyack attempts to kickstart his own Eternal Darkness successor and makes $300,000 out of the $700,000 target. He has yet to make another game. The end!

Dyack, left

tl;dr

NONCE HUNTERS ON TERF ISLAND

What crime is more despised in society than pedophilia? Anyone who endangers or harms children is instantly stigmatized, sometimes even killed. It's easy to understand why - kids are innocent and they are our future.

Many blokes around the world have taken it upon themselves to hunt these people and shame them. In modern day, murder isn't acceptable, so they shame them online. If you've kept up with nonce hunting scene in the UK, you'll know a few of the key groups and their incestuous history with each other.

To my understanding, Chris Hansen is the OG. His influence cannot be captured in a single graph. He importantly influenced Stinson Hunter in the UK who spearheaded the nonce hunting on TERF island. Stinson had a good run, but he eventually tried other shit that didn't work. He did, however, usher in the first “wave” of nonce hunters, and it's easy to say that Shane Brannigan and Sarah Doherty (internet interceptors) were the stars.

They had some beef together and mutually destroyed one another. Internet interceptors split up with many of the members trickling into other groups such as Predator Exposure and Guardians of the North.

I'd like to show you some of my favorite p-dophile hunters from the UK and the good stings they have done. The article would have been longer but unfortunately, I stopped paying attention to the scene for a few years and come back to discover that most of the good ones have been scrubbed off the net. Nevertheless, there are still some good ones, but not the best ones.

I apologize that they are not all YouTube, as some videos are only available on Facebook. Trust me, they are worth the watch.

Shane Brannigan

If you've been in the nonce hunting scene of the UK for a while, you'll recognize Shane Brannigan as one of the OG p-dophile hunters. He has a bit of a backstory and he looks like true Norfwood mate. He was abused sexually as a child and the police never believed him. It's screwed his brain because he is psychotic in his methodology.

For many of the p-dophile hunters, you can tell they are doing it for clout. With Shane, it's clear that it's personal. You can tell he is using all his willpower to stop himself from literally killing the p-dophiles in front of him.

During Shane's heyday, he had the best videos online. He had the men terrified, and he'd often make them phone their wives. Sometimes, he would pair up with Sarah Doherty, who is another very aggressive p-dophile hunter. I used to know the story between these two and the fallout they had, but it was years ago and many of the videos have been scrubbed from the internet.

From research and memory, I have been able to piece together the story a bit, but I can't confirm the details because the videos of them talking about it themselves are gone. The point is, they eventually had beef, and Shane knew something about Sarah that made her quit p-dophile hunting altogether because she was afraid of it getting exposed.

If anyone has the tea, please share. There are also blogs online that try to cover it, but it's hard to tell what's real because some of them could be p-dophiles trying to besmirch the hunters who ruined their lives.

https://thetruthaboutshanebrannigan.blogspot.com

Here are the best stings from him:

a) Andy Salter

This is one of the best stings out there. Nice and clean, and ends with an arrest. It occurs in a confined space, which adds to the tension. Shane yells at the man, and he gets scared. Then Shane calls the female decoy who calls him a dirty c*nt.

b) Keith Goldswain

Another good, clean sting. One of the highlights of this video is that you can see the visceral fear in Keith's eyes, voice, and trembling hands. It's a sight to behold, and it makes you excited as well. He trips over his voice trying to defend himself but it's for nothing because he's banged to rights.

https://www.facebook.com/BustedByBrannigan/videos/keith-goldswain-busted-by-brannigan-in-portsmouth/370076483467275

c) Andrew Sealey

This is a favorite of mine. Andrew Sealey is caught with his wife trying to pick up a child. The wife stays by the husband's side, so Shane attacks her as well. He gives no shits, and he doesn't mind being a woman disrespector.

https://www.facebook.com/100063234669608/videos/371419923332931

Shane calls Andrew a nonce and Andrew's like “I've been called worse” lol.

For more Shane goodness you can watch a BBC documentary about him.

Guardians of the North

These guys used to be my favorite nonce hunters. I like the leader and his thick accent. They take no shit from the p-dophiles and they make fun of them and humiliate them. I like this group because although it is obvious they enjoy the clout, they seem to do things by the book (mostly). They also have some pretty entertaining stings under their belts.

A wild Holly appears! Holly has interviewed these lads!

These are the stings you need to watch:

a) Praju Prasad

This is a short but good one. They catch an Indian man and he immediately begins the head-bobbing motion like a bobble-toy. He gets on his knees and begs for mercy, but they want none of it. They force him to get on his feet because they don't want him to be so pathetic.

b) Ali

The folks sting someone they know! It's a man who owns a restaurant. You can tell a bit of xenophobia seeping in because they say “your family was the only one I trusted, not anyone else” obviously referring to the predator's brown community.

It gets funny when they ask him “What would your Imam say?” And he is so ashamed he cannot answer the question. They also bring up the fact that Ali's father died in a fire saving others and Ali is far from a hero.

Once again, you can see the panic and it's strong. He knows his life is over, and he wishes he could turn back the hands of time but it's too late.

Stinson Hunter

This isn't the type of guy you want in your home. Stinson has a history of drug abuse and crime. However, he now gets to be high and mighty in comparison to p-dophiles. His videos are the cream of the crop when it comes to nonce stings, with perhaps Dark Justice being the only group that comes close.

A man he stung committed suicide and Stinson doesn't give a frick.

Most of Stinson's stuff has been zapped from the net, so I'll only post one.

a) Jonathan Rowland

A man comes on a bike to meet a child. He is stopped by Stinson. The man then proceeds to lie and claim he has been framed. It is funny because he is obviously lying.

https://www.facebook.com/100044427969945/videos/237262102441394

CONCLUSION

There's so many good stings gone forever. If you can help me please identify

• indian caught and claims he just came to get KFC

• Man ho owns a carpet store busted at work and he is made to call his wife

• Man who is busted on Christmas at home and is kicked out by his wife

As I've mentioned in my previous post, I'm in the process of attempting to escape inceldom. I will share the results soon, and it'll be my longest post yet. I think you'll like it.