All is well and the world is beautiful. A smile spreads on my face because I feel an incredible rush of love and joy. I'm so happy to be alive and I'm so grateful to be here. I'm stronger than my worst memories and brighter than the darkness.

I hope you've had an amazing weekend. I'd like to discuss an amazing case I discovered a few years ago. This is the story of Abigail and Brittany Hensel. They are twin sisters, which would be amazing enough, but they also happen to share one body. I think you'll find this story as mind-blowing as I did.

Abigail and Brittany Hensel are born

Patty (a nurse) and Mike (a carpenter) Hensel were a happy married couple living in Minnesota where the enjoyed the company of a close-knit community. Here, Patty and Mike had two happy and healthy children who had no problem integrating into the community.

In 1989, Patty discovered she was pregnant. The doctors told her she would be having a girl, and all scans of the child suggested that Patty would have a successful pregnancy and give birth to a healthy child. On March 7, 1990, Patty went into labor. First an arm emerged, and then a head, and then another arm… and then another head, and then another arm.

The doctors were stunned. This was not one baby! It was two that had fused into one! Two heads, three arms, two legs, and one torso. It was too strange to believe, even when your own two eyes were looking at it. What was going on?!

Conjoined twins

You've often heard them referred to as Siamese twins. Conjoined twins occur when two fetuses are joined in the uterus. This is an incredibly rare condition. In most cases, the fetus dies in the womb, resulting in a stillbirth, or the twins die within 24 hours of birth. To put things into perspective. Over half of all conjoined twin births are stillborn, and of those, a third will die within the first 24 hours. It is estimated that 70-95% of conjoined twins are female, and the reasons are not yet fully understood.

The most common form of conjoined twins is the Thoraco-omphalopagus twin. This occurs when the twins are joined at the upper torso. In this scenario, they typically share vital organs such as the lungs or the heart.

Chang and Eng Bunker, who were from Siam, Thailand, and gave birth to the term “Siamese twin", were Xiphopagus twins, joined at the xiphoid cage. In the modern day, such twins can usually be separated depending on the nature of the fusion.

The saddest case is perhaps the Thoracopagus twin. In such cases, the twins are joined by the upper chest and share a heart. If they are separated, one twin must be sacrificed. Without giving too many personal details, a close relative of mine in the medical industry once dealt with such a case, resulting in the death of one of the twins.

Abigail and Brittany were Dicephalic parapagus twins, which is an exceptionally rare condition. A study on such twins yielded interesting results, though it should be noted that it is EXTREMELY rare to have cases that survive until adulthood.

Parapagus twins lie side by side with venterolateral fusion. Most commonly; these twins are conjoined at the chest, with joined liver and diaphragm but separate respiratory and upper gastrointestinal tracts, two arms; two legs, and two complete spinal cords and vertebral columns, a single shared genitourinary system and lower gastrointestinal tract. All parapagus twins have one umbilicus and a conjoined diaphragm and liver. In this case, there was a single umbilical cord and a single shared pelvic region and abdomen, but two joined thoraxes having two complete vertebral columns, two hearts and two pairs of lungs, two arms and two legs.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3939174

Abigail and Brittany were healthy, all things considered, but the third arm was completely useless, so it was removed, leaving them almost completely symmetrical. In case you want to keep track, from top to bottom, they have:

• 2 heads

• 2 spines merging at the coccyx and joined at the thorax by sections of ribs

• 2 completely separate spinal cords

• 2 arms

• 1 broad ribcage

• 2 breasts

• 2 hearts

• 4 lungs with the medial lungs moderately fused

• 1 diaphragm

• 2 stomachs

• 2 gallbladders

• 1 liver

• 1 large intestine (one colon, rectum, and anus)

• 3 kidneys

• 1 set of reproductive organs

• 1 slightly broad pelvis

• 2 legs

It's bizarre to wrap your head around. They have two mouths and can eat separate meals that pass through separate stomachs but ultimately end up in the same large intestines. Imagine if one doesn't eat and the other does, but they need to poop. Imagine the sensation of pooping on a completely empty stomach.

They also have one set of reproductive organs, yet they are two separate individuals with separate brains. How does sensation work? Who feels what?

Abigail and Brittany live life

It was decided that the twins would not be separated, for it would be a massive surgery with an exceedingly low chance of survival. If the twins did survive, they would have a very low quality of life. So, they lived as the two-headed girls, and they were relatively shielded from prying eyes in their small town.

What must be remembered is that they are separate individuals, as distinct as you might be from your sibling. Nevertheless, they happen to share a body. They make this work and achieve amazing feats. They can write, type, cut apples, and pretty much do anything that you could - but once again you have to remember that they are two separate people - each with only one arm and leg. They are coordinating their movements to achieve daily tasks that you would with two hands and legs. Can you imagine the flawless coordination that's required to get through one day?

As they explain, when they type, they don't have to speak much. They just know what to write. They often complete each other's sentences, and they can even drive! They had to take the test twice, because they are two people, but each time it was a coordinated act between two separate individuals working together to steer and work the pedals. Incredible! They attended Bethel University where they have earned a degree in education. Furthermore, they have become teachers in their small town.

At first, the twins were very camera-shy and loathed it whenever they left their town and had strangers take photographs of them. Over the years, things have changed, and they have come out of their shells. They are more willing to interact with the world, although they do still hold back when it comes to sharing intimate details regarding how some aspects of their lives work.

They had a reality show for TLC in 2013 that offered a look into their lives and how they conquered daily tasks and lived as normal girls.

Abigal and Brittany escape inceldom

You would expect that with severe disability they would be plunged into a life of inceldom as men run away in disgust. That is not the case, and they have had several suitors. This is partially because they have genuinely interesting personalities. I quite enjoyed watching documentaries about them and interviews. It's incredible how normal they are.

https://old.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/comments/130ncpd/conjoined_twins_britt_and_abby_are_now_married?sort=controversial

They have dated, however, and in 2022 photos emerged of them in wedding dresses, suggesting that they had married. However, nothing is confirmed, and they have remained mum on their dating lives.

Conclusion

Love is so powerful. It can conquer the darkest demons and rescue the most wretched from their fallen state. I believe that we all have a chance at happiness, and I believe that we all matter, for we are all made in the image of God.

Another relatively short post. I'm currently working on a longer post that will fully detail the crucifixion of Jesus Christ along with a medical analysis of his death.

As many probably know by now the Voice is the biggest drama to happen in Australia in years, and it's pretty much taken over my posting. However, the campaign has gotten complicated and self-referential enough that I would 100% understand anyone jumping in for the first time or even after missing a week's worth of news would be incredibly confused about everything. This is why I present- the FULL guide to the Voice! Below is what will be covered, feel free to skip to 3-4 if you just want the drama without the context-

1. What is the Voice?

2. Who are the sides?

3. What is the Uluṟu Statement from the Heart?

4. What are the controversies?

If anything big comes up in the coming weeks/months I'll keep adding to this post, so save this if you want to stay up to date

1. What is the Voice?

The Indigenous Voice to Parliament is a proposed advisory body to Parliament. It would be elected by and presumably composed of Aboriginals, and it would give advice on Aboriginal issues to Parliament and to heads of departments or the PM personally. The election process is apparently going to be weighted, with elders (the oldest members/heads of a tribe) as well as those living in "remote communities" (this is essentially code for still living semi-tribally in bumfrick nowhere) given weighted voting over the mayofied urban Aboriginals.

It is important to note that the Government of the day both a) gets to frick with the Voice's composition, powers and process at will and b) can ignore any "advice" they get, HOWEVER they would not be able to get rid of it entirely. This is because the proposal is to put it in the constitution, which also means the Parliament can't actually just vote it in- the constitutional revision needs to be passed by referendum, and then the corresponding legislation setting it up gets legislated in afterwards. This does mean we have to talk about

1b. Referenda in Australia

Referendums in Australia do not pass by a simple majority vote. They pass by a) a majority vote and 2) a majority of Australia's 6 states (so 4/6). Territories count for the first count but not the second, so sucked in Canberra.

The proposed change is worded as follows-

In recognition of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Peoples of Australia:

There shall be a body, to be called the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Voice;

The Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Voice may make representations to the Parliament and the Executive Government of the Commonwealth on matters relating to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples;

The Parliament shall, subject to this Constitution, have power to make laws with respect to matters relating to the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Voice, including its composition, functions, powers and procedures.

To which when the referendum day comes you can answer Yes or No. So remember- YES means nonchuds , NO means chuds .

We still do not know when the referendum day will actually come, although there are some considerations. Albanese (the Prime Minister) has to call the referendum for early 2024 by the latest, and has committed to holding it in 2023. Voting in September/early November is presumed to be out because that's when Aussie sporting finals are, which means all the will be too busy watching footy and drinking beers to care about the Voice. By law elections and referenda have to be held on Saturdays so that also narrows it down. Pundits generally say October 14, but it could well be in November.

2. The Sides

2a. Yes

The Yes campaign is headed by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and his Labor Party (the centre-left party). In Parliament he is also supported by the Greens (left), the "teal" independents (rainbow capitalists) and a few members of the Liberal party (centre right, also known as literally fascism). Albanese brought the Voice as a policy to the 2022 federal election and won, although he mostly won because the PM at the time (Scott Morrison) had become for good reason despised by most of the population as a corrupt smarmy happy-clappy r-slur.

Albanese however is pretty much a fairly inconsequential career politician who has only ever rocked the boat with the Voice, and that was because it wasn't all that controversial a year ago lol. His Indigenous Minister who is currently doing most of the work to push this is called Linda Burney, who apparently isn't drunk when she talks despite the fact that she really sounds like it. She has essentially for the past few months been brought out for damage control whenever something goes wrong for the Yes campaign.

There are also a series of activists who are working towards Yes under the banner of "Yes23", of which I'll highlight two. Noel Pearson is the activist who is meant to get rightoids on board with the Voice, because he says things like "look if you pass the voice and nothing changes you can blame us Aboriginals for it" and "just give us responsibility for our own problems". On the other side there's Thomas Mayo, who's a communist who hates Australia which is why rightoid have been focusing on him despite the fact he really isn't all that important, and I only mentioned him because he gets brought up a lot.

2b. No (chud)

The mainstream No campaign is headed by opposition leader Peter Dutton of the Liberal Party and his coalition partner the Nationals (rural rightoids), and supported in Parliament by fringe parties such as One Nation (gigarightoid lolcows). Peter Dutton is a former cop who became leader of the Liberals after they lost the election, and pretty much leads the rightoid wing of that party. Some state Liberal leaders are actually pro-Voice, so he hasn't gotten his party in line as much as Albanese has.

2c. No ()

A fringe No group is the "Blak Sovereignty" movement, with its parliamentary head being Lydia Thorpe (a lolcow who I made a post about months ago). Their deal is that the Voice would surrender Aboriginal sovereignty to the colonial Australian government so should be avoided. Lol.

3. What is the Uluṟu Statement from the Heart?

The Uluṟu Statement from the Heart is a document published by a bunch of Aboriginal elders and activists in 2017 under a bipartisan program, that called for the Voice, plus Treaty (we admit the authority of the Crown in exchange for gibs) and Truth (a commission that's meant to tell all the bad things that happened during colonisation). The controversy here is on whether or not to count the meetings and notes that went into the signed first page- the meetings and notes call for reparations and all forms of other gibs, which the first page omits. The characters involved in the Statement from the Heart have also been scrutinised (this is where Thomas Mayo comes from for example). Albanese has committed to implementing the Statement in full.

4. Controversies

Controversies so far include but are not limited to-

• the Voice becoming increasingly unpopular

• Yes campaigners being communists

• No campaigners being racists (some really were, some weren't really)

• No ads showing Thomas Mayo begging for gibs (this is racist obviously)

• National carrier Qantas putting vote yes on their aircraft

• Other big corps supporting Yes

• The mining industry supporting No (except it never did)

• Whether the chud No or the Blak Sovereignty No would make the No official argument in a state-funded information pamphlet- chuds won

• Whether the wording of the amendment would accidentally give the Voice power over the government of the day (it doesn't)

That's pretty much it, dramaussies tell me if I've missed anything big

Previously, I had declared my feelings of affection to a female friend of mine (let's just call her Sarah because her name is Sarah). The feelings were not reciprocated, but she let me down in a weird way, she spoke about how she doesn't know how she feels, but she's not looking for a relationship at the moment. She embraces the asexuality meme which is partially how we ended up being friends.

More recently, I decided to give it another shot but to be more tactful this time. I told her I don't think I'm asexual anymore, and that I want to be in a relationship. Once again, she reiterated that she doesn't know how she feels and that a relationship isn't what she wants. Nevertheless, as always, she was nice about it and continues to actively pursue my friendship and constantly tells me she loves me.

At first, this confused me. However, I think I have some of it figured out. I have learned a bit about women and human relationships in general from this experience, and I'd like to share some of the reasons why it's almost certainly a bad idea to pursue your female friends. Now, of course there will be exceptions. Sometimes your female friend genuinely does like you and you'll have a romcom moment. My point is that that's probably not the case, and while you may view the friendship with rose-tinted glasses, she sees things totally differently.

1. They're used to it

Since they started developing breasts, women have been the center of sexual attention. It comes from all angles including older men, teachers, family members, and even other women. At some point, they get used to it and it becomes background noise. "Yes, he's ogling my breasts but I need to finish scanning my groceries".

The sexual attention also comes from male friends. You're NOT the first male friend to express romantic emotions, and you won't be the last. She's turned all of them down, what makes you think things will be different with you? She's used to it, she probably saw it coming, and she doesn't want it. If she did, you wouldn't have to ask because she'd make it obvious to you that she's romantically interested.

Now, there is the possibility of misreading signals, which brings us to the next point.

2. Women genuinely have platonic feelings

This is not to say that men are incapable of having platonic relationships. Nay, that is not my point. My argument is that it is much harder for men to do so. People shit on Steve Harvey but he was 100% correct when he said the following:

Things aren't the same with women. They can genuinely love you deeply without any sexual or romantic feelings. Why is this? Women don't have to deal with the famine mentality. For many men, s*x and love are scarce resources, so when it even vaguely seems like there's an opportunity for it, the feelings come on strong. Hence the cliche of "the cashier smiled at me now I want to marry her". (Most) women aren't leading you on intentionally when they allow intimacy into a friendship. That's the way friendships should be. But it doesn't mean she wants anything sexual or romantic.

3. You're in love because you're lonely

This is probably the crux of the issue. When you're starving, even a mud pie looks delicious. As men, you will face long stretches of loneliness and never being told you're beautiful, attractive, or worthy of anything. Inasmuch as catcalling and sexual objectification should be chastised, it at least serves as some kind of validation of one's attractiveness.

A friendship with a woman can bring about those feelings of validation within men and if you're not ready for it, it's going to develop into obsessive love. If you had higher self-esteem, more experience with women, or a source of love, your friendships with women would be completely normal and platonic. It's when these elements are missing that any smile, hug, or eye-gaze turns into fantasies of marriage.

When she inevitably turns you down, what are you left with? Nothing yet again. Nobody to say they love you or assure you that you are wanted in this world.

Things get more complicated if you're an introvert. Most relationships seem useless unless you're benefitting considerably. In your mind the thinking is "I'd only put this much effort into a relationship if I had romantic feelings". Whereas if the woman is an extrovert, it isn't costing her much mental energy to maintain the relationship. I hope that make sense.

4. She knows already

Don't bother. She already knows you like her. She accepts that as part of the cost of the friendship. That's not a bad thing. It means there's something good about you that she wants in her life even if its not of the romantic nature. You should be flattered by this even if it is heartbreaking at times.

Some women are a bit mean with this. They essentially get everything they would get from a boyfriend (someone to talk to, someone to take care of them) without the need to commit. But that's not always the case. In my case, Sarah goes out her way to be nice to me and to spend time with me. She's not using me for anything - a genuine, platonic friendship is all she wants. It's hard for my brain to wrap my head around it. I thought it was obvious that she felt something. Maybe I had to take the lead and break the ice? Nah, I'm convinced she knew ages ago I liked her but loved me enough to still be my friend despite not sharing romantic feelings.

5. You may lose everything

Life is about taking risks so I don't want to stress this point too much. However, if she doesn't already know and you spring it up on her, she may never trust you again and you will lose all the intimacy of your friendship. She will remain guarded around you, and perhaps even think of you as a slimy coomer who tried to use friendship to get into her pants. Shit can get brutal.

I've been lucky to have an understanding friends who has continued to be nice to me. I know that this isn't the case for everyone, and it also depends on how you respond to the rejection.

CONCLUSION

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings to experience. It's like a knife constantly twisting in your chest. But it's part of life for most of us. A lucky few will find high-school sweethearts and never have to play the dating game, but for most of us, we're going to get rekt a couple times before we find the right one (if we ever do). Please, for the love of god, don't go looking for a girlfriend from your female friends. There's a difference between a girl friend and a girlfriend.

I'm probably preaching to the choir, and this may be obvious to most people here. But I know there are some autists who may need to read this to spare themselves the heartache I went through. The funny part is that if you're in love, nothing I write is going to change anything. You'll think your case is different. You'll try your luck. And you'll get rekt. But don't let me stop you. Some mistakes are meant to be made.

I know the asexuality meme isn't true. One day, she'll find a guy she likes (not me) and all that asexuality shit will disappear. And when it happens it will hurt like heck. However, I'm prepared, and I'll still be her friend. I'm wiser now thanks to the mistakes I've made. Thanks for reading.

It's finally hit me that I got let go and am unemployed. It's joever in a way I've never experienced prior. Past experiences have calloused my mind against rejection to some degree, which is perhaps why I just feel numb more than anything else. I presume as time passes and I digest the situation more, the psychological effects will become more profound.

I've found keeping the curtains open and letting some sun in does help with not getting sucked into depression. It also helps if you continue to do things you'd normally do like laundry. Just small achievements instil a sense of normalcy and don't let you fall into that "I can't do anything" mindset. I will get out of this stronger than I was, and I still believe in myself.

Today I'd like discuss part 2 of the Oxford shooting. Part 1 is here:

https://rdrama.net/post/240705/the-oxford-shooting-also-respect-andp

In the first part of this series, we delved into the background of the shooting and how many red flags were missed. The kid was basically letting everyone know he was going to be violent, yet he was given a gun by his parents. This post will discuss what happened during the shooting and how adults continued to make baffling choices that resulted in even more deaths than necessary. All information is gathered from the official report which is over 500 pages long.

https://oxfordresponse.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/FINAL-REPORT-OCS-Investigation.pdf

The shooting starts

The catastrophic event begins in the bathroom of the south 200 hallway. Here, Ethan Crumbley enters a cubicle retrieves his weapon from his backpack and peepees it. He wasn't alone in the bathroom and there were at least two other students there. The gun is then hidden in his hoodie.

When he walks out, one of the students asks his friend "did he just peepee a gun?", and his question is answered when the sound of gunshots ring. Within the first seven seconds of leaving the bathroom, he had already shot seven students, killing two. These deaths were unpreventable the moment Crumbly walked out the bathroom, which stresses the importance of PREVENTION rather than REACTION. Once a shooter brings a gun into the school, it's Joever. Nobody is fast enough to stop multiple casualties from occurring at that point.

Phoebe Arthur and Elijah Muelle, who were standing together, are the first to get shot. The Shooter looked directly at Elijah and then Eli heard a bang, followed by two more shots. They are wounded but survive their injuries. He then fires at the next group, consisting of Hana Juliana, Kylie Ossege, and Riley Franz. Hana, merely 14, dies from the bullets, while the rest are severely wounded. Unfortunately, Crumbley is not done with his rampage just yet. Like a horrible person, he shoots Hana again, goes to shoot John Ascuitti, and then shoots Hana once again. The 14yo stood no chance against this heathen.

One of the heroes, emerge, who hears the gunshot and heads to it. Her name is Phoebe and she plays dead as the killer walks past. When Crumbly is gone, she asks if anyone else is harmed, and their two responses make it makes it clear that things have changed. Students help into a classroom which is enforced ina room with Nightlock security just for these kinds of situations. They barricaded the door and tried to stop the shoot at least keep themselves safe. Here, Phoebe could call the paramedics who were then dispatch, but more on law enforcement responses later.

Phoebe is the first line of defence as she helped everyone into an abandoned classroom and locked it and 12:58 p.m. Paramedics were relatively fast, able to keep the child They sprung into action, unlike the police. They received their first call from them.

His next victim, Madisyn Baldwin, was shot at close range.

Point blantk shots

An unarmed girl with nothing to gain was a true hero. She got the students to a classroom that was barracaded and attempted in any way to treat Phoebe' gunshot wound. Phoebe was eventually airlifted to hospitall, allowing her to survive. I imagine how they must have felt, all that evil appearing in a moment meant for friendship. Feeling you and your friend fall to the ground and finally realizing"it's one of those." I'm pressed by folks who send texts saying they love their parents.

The event also ended with a point-blank shots. Both Justin and keegan were hiding in the bathroom. Justin was discovered, and Crumbly did not waste time riddling him with bullets. It appears Crumbley was silent throughout his rampage. The report highlights that the kids were fricked because there's no intercom in the bathroom, so reports of a mass shooting would not have been heard.

Hana

The report is pretty long, so we can spend time on various deaths. Remember, Crumbly killed four and injured many others with his weapon of war. As you know, Hana was the first victim.

It appears that the school is a massive one, and not everyone knew what was going on at first. The story of a girl named Hanah is horrific. She met up with friends named Riley Franz and Kylie Ossege, as well as an unnamed fourth student. Crumbly had them in his sights, and his intentions were deadly.

After those rounds of attacks, if you can call them that, Crumbly finds another standing together. It becomes obvious that he is aiming for groups, which I presume would intensify the level of violence. He relentlessly sprayed bullets at the students, one of them striking Hana principally, though the others were grievously harmed in the process. He then walked right up to Hana at point-blank. It has been speculated that there was an incel element to the attack and he specifically wanted to kill Hana

Adults begin to frick up

As set forth above, video footage from OHS shows that EMS entered the short south 200 hallway at approximately 1:33 p.m., 21 minutes and 47 seconds after the first 911 call was placed and 15 minutes and 4 seconds after Louwaert and Yens first entered the short south 200 hallway. Do you like these numbers?

So the school was actually thoroughly prepared, much like Uvalde, but people were afraid to do the needful. The report states that Kim Potts, the OHS armed lunch monitor, joined Louwaert and Yens in the short south 200 hallway at approximately 12: 58 pm. and Potts began to assist students who had been shot.

Louwaert had provided Potts with a tourniquet to use on Hana, but Potts was unable to put it on Hana by herself.

Most people with these jobs aren't fit for actual action. They're also dumb. The classrooms had a locking system to keep students safe. One student and Manisyn pounded at the room window, so they were both visible. However, only one student was let in, and it wasn't Madison. Madison crouched behind a bin but Crumbly found and changed her life status to dead.

Adults run away

There are certain jobs where you're supposed to run toward the gunfire. That's the case for Kim Potts, OHS's armed lunchroom monitor. This is what she did when there was a shooter in a bathroom trapping multiple victims and she knew it:

after opening the door, Potts made a small movement forward, but then stopped. She remained in front of the open door for approximately two seconds before pulling herself back at approximately 12:58:04 p.m. and letting the door close

She basically Justin's fate literally by letting the door close. Put simply, she was afraid to get into a gunfight with a kid. From the document:

Justin would have been immediately visible to anyone who opened the door to the Second Bathroom if he had been there when the door was opened.

Potts did not continue into the bathroom, call for help, or alert anyone after opening the door, which would be expected if she had seen Justin when she opened the door.

the video footage contradicts Potts's recollection of events during her deposition. In her deposition testimony, Potts stated that she had been moving quickly through the hallways even before she met up with Gibson-Marshall

worst part

Although mortally wounded, Justin was still alive in the Second Bathroom when OCSO Deputy Yens opened the door to the bathroom at approximately 1:03 p.m.

Potts just shut up about the whole thing. Admittedly, some offers did the right thing.

The Others

There are others who were injured but didn't die. Here are some of their stories:

• At approximately 12:51 p.m., as the Shooter started his northward walk in the long 200 hallway, he fired at a student running north in that corridor, away from him. This student told law enforcement that she had been standing in the hallway with friends when she heard sounds like a water bottle popping (which was something that kids at school did). She initially did not realize what was happening; when she understood what the popping sounds were, she tried to enter a nearby classroom but it was locked. She ran north, dropping her backpack as sh ran. When this student looked at her backpack after the shooting, she saw a bullet hole in the bag and discovered a bullet in a textbook inside her backpack

• the first 9111 call was made 12:51 pm, so it took them 21 minutes to arrive

'* the school had an intercom system, but many did not take it seriously because of all the drills. Furthermore, it was hard to determine whether he was saying "this is a drill" or "this isn't a drill

Conclusion

It's never over. You can fall down, but you have to get up and dust yourself off. Nobody can do it for you. It sucks that I'm a 28yo unemployed single man, but I have also got a PhD proposal finally accepted, a family that loves me, and a bunch of Pokemon cards to organise. I'll take a mental break this weekend then make job-hunting my temporary job for a while. it's okay to cry but I haven't been crying over it. Mommy's, not around to make it all better It's up to me to decide what my tomorrow will look like despite the setback.

When normies have loud s*x, I'm playing Baby Shark or Rickroll or some shit on repeat at my loudest. I'm done being nice. I will let them know that I can hear them, because they already know I can. They're just banking on the fact that I won't say or do anything. But I will. Thanks for the idea @universal

Intution

The concept of having a “sixth sense” is paradoxical. If you feel iffy about something and don't do it, you'll usually never know whether you were right or wrong. There are exceptions of course. You can have a bad feeling about your mom, and then realize she has cancer that day.

Today I had one of those moments. I wanted to go to the beach to collect shells. It rained so I didn't go. I also wanted to stop at a shack at the beach that has some absolutely legendarily yummy food, even for veganbros. Alas, I was thwarted.

I wanted to go to the weed dispensary to get some bud instead (having not hit bong in ages). I got struck with the strongest sense of “don't do it” I've felt in my life, and it was related to driving. I feel like if I drove, I would be mangled right this very moment.

I've hinted at it a few in my posts, but I had a car accident that totaled my vehicle this year. It's made me afraid of driving but I don't really live somewhere where I have the luxury of crawling away from driving. Being an adult is strongly tied to driving in addition to the whole place not being pedestrian-friendly at all.

I got in my car and my music refused to sync with my car system. Whatever. I started driving and the dread was so strong I turned back and went home. This wasn't fear. It was like that feeling of someone staring at you from behind. Now did I dodge a horror or was I being a little b-word? We'll never know.

Do you relate? Ever had something similar happen where you didn't do something because of instinct and not fear?

On a side note, I have a Quest 3 and nothing to do with it. SWERF so no porn.

Ethan Crumbley

I relate a lot to Ethan Crumbley. Not because of his violence, but his mind filled with violent imagery. I see it too, Ethan. The difference is that I see it on myself. That white flesh exposed just white until a minute later, the blood floods like a leaky tap.

Leaky tap is the right metaphor. It feels like your leg is broken, your brain is broken, reality is broken. To not do it right now is a massive feat. The pain would hurt so good. It would overwhelm me, sometimes enough give me a panic attack.

I deserve the pain, the self-destruction. Evil flows through my veins, and all I do is wrong. I'm a bad person, and those who hurt me should be rewarded for their good deeds. Not one cut, not two. Four, five, then the half-assed first aid.

I'm a waste Ethan, we both are, we both should be chucked into the bin. I'm garbage, I'm trash, I want to overdose so badly.

Today, I'd like to discuss Ethan, the Oxford shooting, and a few things that went wrong. I'm doing it. Fewer Holly and some will be repeats because my brain is dead from all the pills no joke. Plus I need space for for the story. I think there's like 20 image limit.

The Birth of Ethan Crumbley

Crumbley is a Florida Man that moved to Massachusets a few years after his birth. This move disrupeted his regular development and ability to make friends. His parents also left him alone for long periods.

This is something mentioned by neigbours who have stated that the kid was ocasionally left overnight and instructed to make his own supper. He would also scream, and ocasionally knock at neighbors doors crying.

A bunch of sick shit happened during his childhood years. Red flag is an understatement. Let's talk about schools not giving a shit. I used to write about self-harm in high school. The school took the essays and published them in the newsletter as “good writing”. Uhm, I'm literally telling you I'm hurting myself habitually and I received praise. And back then it was pure cat scratches (i.e. just using a compass to scratch myself until I bleed).

You like my writing now, Mrs Pet? Oh wait, you're fricking dead. Shitty school counsellor. Your death will be nothing but a story to me as well. I should write about it and mail it to her children but I lack the vindictiveness. I might send this whole thing to her though although it would inevitably have police knocking at my door even though I've committed no crime except share literature.

Here's my gripe. I was left to suffer. When that suffering resulted in behavior that inconvenienced them, I got punished. What?! Frick off. As an adult I can't imagine treating anyone's child that way, yet alone one I was being paid to take care of. If I knew a child was hurting themselves, I'd take that as the purpose of my life to end my suffering.

I got sent to a counsellor who told me “well, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to” and that was the end of it. Never, ever, ever brought up again except to publish. Yes, at 28 as I process the cruelty of the adults of my childhood I am upset. These were my first encounters with genuine, unmitigated, “I don't give a frick despite my ability to and I don't care to justify it” malice.

I have 0 ill-will against peers. We were all growing up, and I probably harmed more kids than the reverse. That is my cross to bear, and I'm sorry. For peers who hurt me, you are forgiven. You couldn't have done better even if you wanted to. Doing worse was the pathway to doing better. The adults who knew? As much blood on your hands as there was on mine today as far as I'm concerned. A baby human came to you for help and you fricked them off. I can't think of a worse crime.

And don't post triggering content in a fricking newsletter for teens you fricking idiots. I can't fathom how many people learned how to hurt themselves from this or were triggered to start hurting themselves again, even if they only have the story in memory.

Ethan Crumbley's Red Flag

Crumbley didn't have red flags. They were crimson, something like the tail of a charmandar always following him around. This was not was not a child that should have been in a regular school, and it is evident and I'm probably not the first to point this out.

The report tries to not blame folks, but it's hard not to.

>We want to be clear that we are not placing any blame on these students for not reporting what they saw or heard or faulting them in any way. These students were children and not teachers, counselors, or mental health professionals. We mention the fact that they did not report what they saw and/or heard because it raises the likelihood that these students (and others) did not understand what, when, how, or where to report information about potential threats or concerning behavior

The first is a dead bird's head he kept in a jar. He eventually left it at school where it was discovered and caused great uproar in the school. Was it occult? An omen? Who would do something so perverse?

A deer head was also found, along with graffiti, but this was not an act from Crumbley. The graffiti was likely kids attempting to jump off the building hype surrounding the occult and the school. ]

There have also been reports that Crumbley had a countdown to November 30. This is not true. No students knew of the incoming shooting prior to the event.

As the report reveals

First, the data: During the 2021-22 school year, leading up to the shooting, the average daily attendance at OHS was 93% of students present/ On November 30, just over 93% of students were reported present, slightly higher than the daily average. Reported absent from OHS on November 30 were 112 students out of approximately 1,708 enrolled students.

Crumbley had had interactions with the counsellor prior but these was routine and nothing of note was found. Following that there were minor incidents, including with the Spanish teacher who noted that Crumbley said his family is “useless” or something to that effect. It should be noted that the counsellor's memories don't always align with those of others, which is a trend you'll see throughout the report.

The mention of “false recollection” is usually code for “is bullpooping”. They never say anyone is lying but they do point out that someone's account doesn't make sense or is contradicted by someone else.

So let's start with the nonsense of the day before and on the attack. Your jaw will drop when you realise exactly how things went down. This is a 500 page document I'm drawing from so forgive me, but for this day, I'm using bullet (kek) points. Also, he gets the Voldemort treatment but frick off you know his name.

• in the first period he pulled out a bullet and showed it to his teacher Kubina who was shocked but did not report it

• In the same class he was found looking at images of bullets on his phone

• 2nd period - “One of those students told police after the shooting that when he and the other student asked the Shooter if he wanted to be the person to write for the group, the Shooter did not respond. This student then saw the Shooter pretend to hold a gun. The student did not pay any attention to this gesture by the Shooter at the time.”

• In period 4, Kubina finally reports the bullet to Hopkins and Ejak (Dean)

“ Hopkins testified that he wrote, “I'll be touching base with him as well” because he saw that the original email was sent to two other staff members and he “was planning on being involved with the other two staff members.””

The kid brought bullets to school and showed them to his teacher in first base. That isn't a “I'll touch base with him” moment. It's school lockdown moment you dumb fricks. This is like going on a date and just carrying condoms in your hand and your date acts shocked when you wanna fugg at the end.

Eventually, Crumbley is sent to Pam Fine who's some anti-bullying officer. She asks him and he says he and his mom like shooting. The report points out the obvious and the same thing that happened to me

Had they asked the Shooter more about his shooting-range hobby, they may have discovered that his parents recently bought a handgun for him or his use at the range, which in turn may have provided greater context for Hopkins the next day when he again found himself dealing with concerning behavior by the Shooter.

Also

Neither Fine nor Hopkins searched the Shooter or his backpack during the meeting, nor did they ask him for consent to search. Which blows my mind. We don't know if he was strapped that day. He very well may have been.

We're in fourth period now. Fine calls his mom, then we get the whole “don't get caught” textl spiel between the two. In period five, you're going to love this one.

On cross-examination by the Shooter's attorneys, Dr. Anacker testified that the Shooter told her that at some point during the school day on November 29, 2021 he wrote in his journal that he was going to do the shooting the next day. It seems likely that the journal entry quoted above is the entry that the Shooter described to Dr. Anacker.

We're past crimson. We're devil-red.

Social media

Maybe that's normal in burgerland but most 15yos aren't posting pistols online.

Day of shooting

In registration class, the following occured:

During this class, Karpinski noticed that the Shooter was watching a video on his

phone in class that depicted a person shooting other people, shown from the gunman's

perspective

She alerts Fine and Karpinski but “Karpinski did not see the Shooter's behavior in watching this video (or viewing an image of bullets) as indicative of potential violence toward himself or others, but she thought it reflected a change in his typical personal behavior. Once again, we note that by promptly reporting concerning student behavior, Karpinski acted appropriately under the

circumstances.”

During math, he wrote weird stuff on a math test. His teacher went to the front office, causing him to be called to Ejak, but he had scratched away the majority of the disturbing content on his paper already. His parents were called and sent her the pictures. Both parents arrive, and they discuss the disturbing content before Ethan's backpack (with the weapon of murder) was retrieved but not searched.

His parents left, and it's noted that “Neither parent hugged or touched their son, or even said goodbye to him”.

There was a breakdown of communication. Stringing together everything in the past few days should have been important, at least enough to search him, but it wasn't. The student was allowed to returned to class and a based moment happened:

“While walking into Jasinski's classroom that day, a student said, “I wish it was the last day of school” (referring to the last day of school before the December holiday break). This student told police that the Shooter responded, “Don't worry, it is the last day of school.””

Then this conga line of shit happened:

• a student interviewed by police after the shooting said that the Shooter showed him a live round and one or two empty bullet casings. This student said that another student grabbed the live round out of the Shooter's hand and held it up as if to show the teacher, and the Shooter grabbed it back and put it away in his pocket or backpack. According to police

notes, this student also said that the Shooter asked him if he (the student) had earplugs; he thought that the Shooter had a hearing sensitivity and that was the reason for his

question. The Shooter also asked this student and the other two students at their classroom table again what classes they had during fifth hour.

• Another student in Jasinski's fourth-hour history class told law enforcement after the shooting that a friend of his showed him real bullets on the day of the shooting. After this

student saw the bullets, he saw his friend give the bullets back to the Shooter. There is no evidence that Jasinski saw the Shooter displaying ammunition in class that day or any

other day

• Another student in the Shooter's fourth hour World History class also heard the Shooter's comment about that day being the last day of school. Specifically, this student told police

that he heard the student described above say that he wished it was Christmas break and that the Shooter responded by saying that it was the last day of school. There is no

evidence that this student reported this statement to anyone at OHS prior to the shooting.

• This student also stated that near the end of the fourth hour class period (after lunch), the Shooter asked him and two others what classes they would be in during fifth and seventh

hours. After they told him where they would be, this student asked the Shooter why he wanted to know, but the Shooter did not respond.

The shooting (crumbley's perspective)

After the fourth period, he entererd the bathroom and cocked his gun, causing the kids there to shit themselves more. They were not killed

After exiting the First Bathroom with his gun, the Shooter shot and wounded seven OHS students, two of them fatally, in the span of only seven seconds. We believe that the last

best chance to prevent the shooting had already passed, when Counselor Shawn Hopkins and Dean Nick Ejak allowed the Shooter to return to his third-hour class with his

backpack, unaware that the backpack contained a gun and ammunition. When the Shooter emerged from the First Bathroom, no one could have prevented these first seven

victims from being shot, short of having a security officer in this bathroom or immediately outside it, ready to thwart the Shooter before he used his weapon

Once he began, Crumbley was ceaseless with his onslaught. He turned the corner, saw Phoebe and Eli first, and shot Phoebe in the face, though she survived. He then fired at a a group of girls, injuring Hana who was shot multiple times. One of his most tragic victims is Madisyn who he killed in the south 200 hallway but would not be let into the classroom out of fear. She was shot at close range by Crumbley.

There had been no announcement of the shooting so not everyone knew yet. Tate entered hall 200 from the courtyard and was murdered at close range from Crumbley. The last victim was Justin who was. In the bathroom. When Crumbley entered, he and Keegan noted his dead eyes. Keegan slowly walked away. Pots, an armed adult, creaked the door open for two seconds before fricking off. Crumbley then shot Justin at close range.

Sorry for the shitty post. Pills(no, not benzos) got me zombied up. Hard to not sleep all the time. In the next post we discuss the entire shooting and what the adults did lol so far we have

• not enter the bathroom with the gunman

• Not let in Hana who was shot and killed

It gets pretty bad and Pots is just the tip of the iceberg.